


but i know it’ll have to drown me, before i can breathe easy

by goreds



Category: The West Wing
Genre: M/M, PTSD depiction, also mentions of vietnam, and abbey too!, mentions of leo's alcoholism and drinking, young jed and leo!
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-12-31
Updated: 2019-12-31
Packaged: 2021-02-27 04:27:00
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 874
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22051027
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/goreds/pseuds/goreds
Summary: Leo McGarry shows up on Jed Bartlet's doorstep shortly after the Vietnam War ends.
Relationships: Jed Bartlet/Leo McGarry
Kudos: 14





	but i know it’ll have to drown me, before i can breathe easy

Leo’s just returned from Vietnam, and he shows up on Jed and Abbey’s doorstep, reeking of cheap alcohol and cigarettes. Abbey automatically goes into medical student mode, trying to take care of him, but Leo just waves her off, staring blankly ahead. Jed takes care of it, helping Leo to the living room and clearing off a chair full of economics books so Leo can sit down. Abbey comes in with some sort of hangover cure, but Jed waves her away.

Maybe Leo needs this. He doesn’t look good. He looks like he’s seeing things. Jed wipes Leo’s sweaty brow with a spare doily--Abbey will yell at him for that later, something about heirlooms, but he doesn’t really care. He needs to take care of his friend, and he feels like only he can do it.

It’s almost like Leo is looking right through him, at the portrait above the fireplace. The portrait is of Jed’s now-deceased father. “He was a bastard,” is all Leo slurs.

“He was,” Jed says reassuringly. “But he’s gone now, Leo. He’s gone.”

“He didn’t deserve you. And he never liked me.”

“Dad never had great taste,” Jed smirks at Leo. Leo is still dazed.

“It was awful...over there. They should’ve warned us. What we’d see. What we’d do.” Leo begins shivering. Jed goes over to the couch and pulls off a blanket and wraps Leo in it. But Leo doesn’t stop shaking. “Jed...if you knew everything I did...you wouldn’t be friends with me for much longer.”

“That’s nonsense, and you know it, Leo McGarry. And we are far more than just friends at this point.”

Leo smiles at this, and a light almost seems to come back into his eyes. Jed has his own flashback briefly to their chance encounter at a Michigan-Notre Dame football game when they were younger, before the war. Jed was sober; Leo was drunk. It was cold. Despite the fact that they were on the opposite side of the game, they shared a blanket. Neither of them was really big football fans at the time anyhow. Leo's eyes were bright that night. 

Jed wants to get under the blanket with Leo now, but he worries that Abbey will come in and see them. He met Abbey _after_ several encounters with Leo, and they’d agreed to break it off and just remain friends when Jed fell for Abbey. Leo said Jed was bound for big things, and he needed a woman, especially a strong one like Abbey, by his side. Not some boozy wannabe male attorney. And then the war happened, and Leo went off to fly planes, until he was shot down and injured.

Leo has stopped shaking, save his right leg, which was the part of him most severely injured. “Do you remember the Michigan-Notre Dame game?” He says this weakly.

Jed nods. “I was just thinking about that. Y’know you could always read my mind, sir.”

Leo lets out a wavery chuckle. “Yeah, I know. Used to freak you out.”

“It still does, friend.”

“...you remember what happened _after_ the game?”

“How could I forget?” Jed says, suppressing an urge to let out his own chuckle.

“Do you think...ever again?” Leo looks hopeful, but bleak, like he knows Jed’s answer already.

“Leo...now...it’s been years. Abbey’s pregnant now. You’re in a bad spot right now, that’s all. You want to relive old times, that’s all. I understand that.” Jed places Leo’s hand in his own. He massages his tense fingers.

Leo does not relax. “I don’t know why I came here.”

“Because this is a safe haven. It’s okay, I understand--”

“No, that’s not why. I know why I came here, actually. To get fucked. Seems like I’m just getting fucked over.”

Jed just blinks at that. Leo’s never talked in such blunt terms before about their...predilection for each other.

But Jed has to admit, he likes the new Leo a little more than the timid one he knew before. He knees down next to Leo’s chair and leans his face up towards him, waiting. Leo looks around nervously for any sign of Abbey, before leaning down to kiss Jed. Jed can taste the alcohol on Leo’s lips, and it’s a sloppy, impatient kiss on both sides. They’re out of practice.

Jed hears Abbey coming and breaks away quickly, wiping his mouth on the back of his hand.

“You’re sure you don’t need anything?” Abbey looks concerned, but she says nothing.

“No,” Jed rasps, “We’re okay. Right, Leo?”

Leo just nods.

“Go ahead to bed, sweetheart,” Jed tells Abbey, “I’ll keep watch on Leo.”

Abbey just squints at the two of them before heading upstairs. As soon as they can’t hear her again, they’re back at it, kissing passionately as if they’re college students all over again. But they aren’t college students anymore. They break apart for air.

“Leo,” Jed hoarsely says, “Are you sure you want to do this? It isn’t just the booze speaking?”

“I don’t know,” Leo whispers. “But I know I want you, in this moment.”

Jed’s not convinced, but he takes the blanket away from Leo and tosses it back onto the couch.

And it starts all over again.


End file.
